16, 17 and 18 Year Olds

Understanding Your Child’s Development

Your teen is turning into a young adult. This is an exciting time for them. Their emotions can change quickly as they learn to deal with school, friends and adult expectations. It’s important to try to be an askable adult who’ll be there when your teen needs you. At this age they still have many questions they may not ask.

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Parent Tip+-

Speak to your teen as a mature person about shared expectations and accept that you can no longer control what your teen does. You are now more of a guide as they get older. Expect to be challenged about your values. This naturally occurs as your teen develops their independence and their own identity.

To learn more, see Tips for Talking about Sexual Health.

The following is a list of changes your teen may have already gone through or will go through during their remaining teen years.

Development

Physical

The physical and hormonal changes from puberty continue:
- continue to grow and gain weight
- skin is oilier and they may have acne on their face, upper back and/or chest
- pubic and underarm hair continues to grow and thicken
- start to sweat more
- have body odour, and may want to start using an antiperspirant or deodorant
Seem to always be hungry and may eat a lot
They need more sleep, so it’s okay to let them sleep in on weekends

Teens with ovaries

Usually reach their adult height by age 16 or 17
Breasts may continue to grow for some; for others, they may be fully developed
Still gaining weight, their hips begin to widen and fat padding in the buttocks, legs and stomach increases
Menstrual periods and ovulation usually become regular–it’s possible to become pregnant. Some teens don’t have regular periods, especially in the first year or two of menstruating. Some will continue to have irregular periods. If irregular periods continue beyond late puberty, they may need to consult a doctor. It’s important your teen understands that they can still get pregnant even if they had no period. See Missed or Irregular Periods.
White, mucous-like discharge from the vagina, particularly mid-menstrual cycle

Teens with testicles

Fast growth in height and weight may continue for some but may be slowing for others
Shoulders grow wider
Body and facial hair still growing
Penis, scrotum and testicles are close to, or are fully developed
Can have erections and ejaculate, sometimes while sleeping
Voice continues to deepen
May have swelling under the nipples (usually goes away by the end of puberty)

Sexual

A new desire for sexual experiences brought on by hormone changes
Continued interest in romantic relationships
More interest in sexuality
May be attracted to or have a sexual experience with someone of the same gender. This does not necessarily mean it’s their sexual orientation, but it could. They may also express that they are ‘pansexual’: in other words, they are attracted to whomever they are attracted to, regardless of gender or sex.
As they get older, dating relationships have a deeper involvement, with real concern for their partner.
Increased physical desire for sexual play and intimacy
May masturbate. Sexual fantasies may play a role in their sexuality.

Emotional

May feel confused, have strong emotions and feel anxious about their changing body
May become easily upset, be more sensitive or lose their temper more than usual
Conforming to their peer group becomes less important
Feel stress from more challenging schoolwork
Relationships with peers and adults are becoming more stable. Conflicts are likely around issues of independence and self-identity.
Have a more realistic and established view of themselves and others

Learning & Thinking (Cognitive)

Strong need and desire to assert independence. They may rebel against parents or caregivers.
May appear unhappy with expectations from parents but are privately reassured that their parents care enough to put expectations on them
Tend to experiment with different roles in their search for self-identity
Start to define personal values, using family, peer and societal values as a guide
Have an improved ability to think abstractly, consider possible solutions to a problem, and to predict cause-and-effect relationships
Future plans become important and start to be put in place
Have a need for a supportive environment and for parents to be understanding
Are better able to provide reasoning for the choices they make

Social

Have a deeper ability for caring, sharing, and developing more intimate relationships
Spend less time with parents and more time with friends
Still enjoy being part of teams and groups but is more comfortable being their own person

Click the link to learn more about children with Differing Abilities.

What Your Child Needs Your Help to Learn

As children make their way through the teen years, they will keep looking to their friends for answers and information. Being approachable is important so your teen knows they can come to you when they need you. At this age, teens still have many questions that they won’t ask about.

Teens in this stage of development should know all the information from birth to 15 years old, plus know:

that it’s okay not to be sexually active
how to use birth control correctly, as well as how each method works
Information about emergency contraception
about pregnancy
about STIs and safer sex practices
about the connection between alcohol, drugs and decision-making, including being sexually active
the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships
about consent including negotiation and refusal skills, and relationship skills (e.g., how to end a relationship)
reputable sources of information on ensuring shared sexual experiences, whenever they occur, are positive for everyone involved.